Rhinos looking for candidates


submitted by the Rhinos

The Parti Rhinocéros Party is looking for a candidate in the longest-named riding in Canada!

Sébastien CoRhino, Dealer of Rhinocéros Party, is eagerly looking for a candidate in the by-election of this wonderful riding : “I receive a lot of papers from Elections Canada. But this riding is simply the best one of all. It is messing up the page layout of everything they send, from Excel files to large maps” he said, pointing to a map in his office.

Sébastien CoRhino says : “If you wanna be candidate for the Rhino Party, we give you a strong platform, made of maple and spruce tree. You’ll have a good laugh with your citizens, we leave you a lot of freedom to defend the issues you like for your riding, and the first thing you’ll do once elected, is make $178,000/year. Totally worth it.”

Green plan and Ontario:

The Rhino Party’s Green Plan propose to hike the emissions of greenhouse effect gases to reduce the length of Canadian Winter, increase agricultural land and implante communities further north! Also, we want to make Canada a natural habitat for Rhinocéros, so we can welcome this species in the valley of the Fraser river. “Also, we will have beaches on the 3 oceans”, he says.

Also, Doug Ford’s idea to cut incentives for electric car is “a good idea, but it’s clearly not enough. Lots of Canadians bought really big cars, and now they’re struggling to pay the gas bill. We’ve got to help them, and it’s part of our Green Plan. Does a Rhino Government give tax credit for big gas bills? Are we going to subsidize big engines? We don’t know yet, but elect us and we’ll act way more than Ford!” said CoRhino in front of a horny crowd.

Sébastien CoRhino also promises to open one thousand fiscal paradises on the thousand islands, to bring foreign money inside Canada. “Make foreign money local!”, he said.

Rhino Party?

Founded in 1963 by Dr. Jacques Ferron, the Rhinoceros Party is 55 years old this year. From hundreds of candidates in the ‘80s, it had 28 candidates in 2015, but… The party will have more than 100 candidates in the 2019 election, since the $1000 deposit for candidates was judged unconstitutional in 2017! Hooray!

“Rhino Party is just about right on everything it proposes!” -Bernie Sanders

“Laughing is another way to show teeth”
-Les Zappartistes


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